Pagbubuo ng Malikhain at Maginhawang Buhay: A Living Portfolio

If you were to put together a living portfolio, what are the most meaningful projects or engagements that would find their way on there?

Note: So, I’ve been sitting on another post for a while, on the slowness of change — in personal and social transformation, and in navigating my own modest expressions of activism. The funny aptness of me being very slow in writing it too. Because I’ve been feeling stuck there, I’ve decided to post something else today.

This past week, I’ve been working on a portfolio of working with the arts, as part of my application for an expressive arts facilitation course, as I’ve been wanting to learn more about creative and somatic ways of holding space. Putting my portfolio together (as someone who is not a “creative” by profession) has made me look back at the journey of my life where creativity and community have been woven in with my desire to contribute to “changing the world”. (well-intentioned and naive changing the world maybe) 🙈

I hope you find something of resonance here. If not, oh well, this is me choosing to take up space. 😅

---

Kwento ng isang…

When I was a kid, and I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wanted to be a part-time everything. In grade school, I remember wanting to be a part-time writer, artist, fashion designer, interior designer, etc. You know how you sometimes go to a Korean restaurant and you be all up in the side dishes? That’s me. I wanted to do everything, but “on the side”. But on the side of what, I don’t know. 🤣

In my senior year in high school, I applied to different universities, each with a different course: Industrial design in Benilde; multidisciplinary studies in Ateneo; psychology and business management in La Salle; and landscape architecture in UP. 😂 Talk about kalat?

I was most curious about industrial design at the time, but decided to take a course that would give me the broadest, most “practical” set of skills to enter the working world. And having come from a very square family (both my parents were bankers), I couldn’t quite imagine making a living out of “design” or “creativity”.

So what did I study?

So I took up psychology, and wound up dropping by business management after realizing I didn’t want to pay (or make my parents pay) tuition for me to do a mock business with classmates. I felt that tuition would be put to better use as capital for a business.

And what did I do?

After graduating, I interned at a psych ward, but also at a below-the-line design agency; I started a retail design business as a friend, got a job as copywriter (lasted just a year), started a travel blog, grew my business (from design, production, marketing and distribution); had my quarter life crisis, quit my business, started Muni, mounted our earlier Muni Markets; side hustled as a merchant manager for a tech startup, as learning and development consultant, as a segment producer, communications consultant, and created footwear with handwoven textiles; I painted on and off for fun — all within my 20’s.

***

In some ways, you could say I was living my childhood dream. I was able to experiment with so many things, with the constants of creativity and community fueling my life journey.

I recognized myself as a jack of all trades, master of none. I vacillated between celebrating the multi-disciplinary journey of my life, and struggling with feelings of insecurity and constant impostor syndrome. I would never be as specialized as other friends. But was specialization something I aspired for? Or was I happy to be this serial dabbler that collided different worlds together?

***

Para sayo, ano ba ang “pagbubuo ng malikhain at maginhawang buhay”?

I invite you to reflect on the question while I write about it here.

For me, “malikhain” doesn’t have to mean that I’m an artist or designer by profession, but that at different moments of my life, I harnessed my own creative thinking, authentically expressed myself, and showcased and celebrated the creativity and ingenuity of others.

For me, “maginhawa” doesn’t have to mean that life is convenient or comfortable all the time. In fact, a lot of meaningful things I’ve pursued have involved going out of one’s comfort zone. For me, maginhawa means that I have the space to breathe, reflect, learn from and appreciate my life’s experiences when they do happen. I’m not running to the next thing right away. At the same time, in that space for solitary reflection, I appreciate that ginhawa is also best felt when in the presence of others, whether as the holder of space, or as the one being held.

***

I’m now at the tail end of my 30’s. And the story I tell myself is that the meanderings in my life are all part of my pagbubuo.

I take all my experiences as compost for my creative soil.

Many of my most meaningful projects are connected to my work with Muni from 2012-2021. These were shaped by my experiences before that time, as well as the side quests I took in that period. These now shape my current endeavors and expression.

The living portfolio of my life is whole while continuing to evolve with me.

It showcases projects that have given me a sense of meaning and purpose in my life so far; harnessing more than just my own creativity, in attempts to contribute to collective wellbeing.

Here are a few screenshots from my living portfolio. (Links aren’t clickable.)

Where my head is at most these days :)

A holistic and meaningful last project with Muni and our collaborators Habilin and Agam <3

Peak moments in my Muni life. :)

Just adding this to appreciate the origins of my work with creatives. <3

I’m proud of these projects, but also slightly insecure or embarrassed about some of them, if I’m being honest — because there are things I knew I could have done better or sustained or grew or scaled, etc. But again, with a pagbubuo mindset, all of this contribute to the wholeness of me. Buo habang nagbubuo.

I celebrate the rough drafts. I live for the side quests.

And if I circle back to the young Jen who wanted to do so many things “on the side”, I can tell her what the mains in this meal now are. I’m now owning the label of facilitator and coach, and also writer more and more. These have been threads for me in different ways, shapes and forms throughout my life.

However, I also feel that it’s less important to fixate on a designated profession, and more important to be able to say what values we want to live out, embody, be a commitment to in the different spaces of our lives. For me, they’ve been curiosity, connection, creativity and contribution.

So as I conclude this post, here are some reflection prompts for you:

• What are the rough drafts that you can allow yourself to make, and the side quests that you can allow yourself to take (and take time with)?

• What thoughts or mindset can help you be kinder with yourself in the messy, meandery journey of life?

• If you were to put together a living portfolio, what are the most meaningful projects or engagements that would find their way on there? And what do they tell you about your most valued values?

‘Til the next time,
Jen