A Love Letter from Not Prince Charming
Sharing this oldie but a goodie from 9 years ago now. And it's funny reading it again today. Ano ang magbibigay ng kiliti, kaba at kilig sa'yo?
Writer’s Note from Feb. 14, 2016
As I was writing another Letter to Self (a birthday tradition), I was inspired to write a love letter to all the amazing women out there who don’t recognize their own amazingness. This post is (was) the first of a will-be (would-not-be) series of Love Letters for Women written by an imaginary Not Prince Charming. Lol. I just realized how funny it is that even in creating this imaginary guy, he still isn’t Prince Charming. Hah.
Writer’s Note from Feb. 14, 2025
Was supposed to post about a new website launch yesterday for my birthday, but that was a fail. 😺💩 So that post will have to wait ‘til next time, but I also wanted to share this old thing I wrote.
Re-reading this now feels funny when I think about queerness and my lack of interest in romantic relationships (whether with men or women, not that I’ve been with a woman), and my contentment (not a settling kind) and deep gratitude for all the friendships I’ve made with so many amazing women over the years.
And for the record, I have a gag reflex for Valentine’s day, but this is to celebrate the love of friendship — better than any romance. I hope you have spaces for all the love and support you deserve.
February 14, 2016
Hi.
You’re beautiful.
I know you simultaneously blush and cringe or roll your eyes (or both), when I say it, not because you actually think I’m lying, but because you don’t really believe it yourself.
You often catch me staring. I’m sorry if this creeps you out. I think some part of me wants you to see me staring. I want you to see how I see you, because I know that when you look at yourself, you’re never really fully contented with what you see in the mirror.
But you don’t see what I see.
I see starry eyes that swallow me in with your zest for life, the joy, and also the sadness from your stories, and the hope that fuels your dreams for yourself, your loved ones, and yes, the rest of the world. You look at things beyond yourself, and that’s really sexy.
I see lips that while soft and luscious for kissing, are on fire the most when you talk about the things you are passionate about. I love it when you get all riled up and feisty, even when you’re debating with me. It shows that you aren’t afraid to speak your truth.
And then I see that smile. And then I have no words. So I stare. Sorry, not sorry.
I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.
I know some people have told you “you’re beautiful” or “I love you” only to hurt you by lying, cheating, or letting you down in profound ways, thus rendering those statements meaningless.
And I don’t want to make promises that I won’t hurt you or let you down. I don’t want to promise to be your Prince Charming; I know you hate the idea of a guy just kissing a girl and making all her problems go away, because you don’t believe it works that way. You’re strong and independent, and you know you don’t need me to live a full life.
But I do know that just because you think men are generally shit, and that women are better off without us, doesn’t mean that you and I can’t have something amazing together. I can’t promise that I won’t make you feel hurt, angry, sad or disappointed at times, but I do know that I can make you feel happier, more loved, and more able to achieve things you’ve dreamed of doing, and things you haven’t even begun to imagine.
I want to promise you forever, because then you’ll know that someone in this world will always love you like I do. However, I know that sometimes, people change, love wavers, or sometimes, our bodies go back to the earth even when we’re still filled with much more love to give.
So without being too grandiose or overly dramatic, I want to promise to show you as much love as I can show you today, and to continue trying each day after that, remembering to notice how your eyes crinkle when you smile, or how you purse your lips every time you’re about to say something else to blow my mind.
You’re beautiful.
And I wish you could see what I see.I love you.
And I wish you could love yourself more too.Love,
Not Prince Charming
Parang kinilig din ako sa sarili kong sinulat. Lol. 😆
And maybe, alongside friendship, that’s the love that matters — the love, care and compassion we can extend to ourselves too, even when we feel “unworthy”.
Sabi nga ni mareng Whitney, learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. 😊 And it’s hard to receive love from others if we don’t give it to ourselves.
In a sensual embodiment session guided by Inna Gacad for our Likha Ginhawa circle last November, one of the group’s reflections was how we could give ourselves pleasure that wasn’t limited to masturbation.
Pwede rin natin kilitiin at pakiligin ang ating sarili.
Ano ang kiliti, kaba at kilig na mabibigay mo sa sarili mo?
For me, it’s in getting a new kitten, getting kitty cuddles, enrolling in pottery and painting classes without an end in mind, publishing (or attempting to publish) my own website even if no one was asking for it, pagpapakapal ng mukha, doing audacious things (as in, how dare I try new things, especially at 40!), etc.
What does following your curiosity and pursuing your kiliti, kaba and kilig look like for you this year?
Power and joy,
Jen Horn | @pagbubuo